Embarrassment in love's waiting room

 Imagine you've just started seeing a potential romantic interest.  You've been on a few dates, but not enough yet to be caught up in any kind of emotional fervor.  Then you realize that subtly and without warning the tides have turned; maybe it was a favorite song you have in common or shared childhood experience.  Regardless of what it was, you realize that you are in the never-ending waiting room of love (maybe it's "like" not "love", but it doesn't really make much difference).  This is the special place where you are constantly checking your phone for a missed call or new text, when the sound of a cell going off within a mile radius triggers you to check your bag.  Waiting for calls, waiting for dates, waiting for relationship talks--the waiting room.

I propose that an aspect of what makes the waiting room so uncomfortable is not just the uncertainty we experience, but the judgments we make about ourselves in the process of waiting.  Have you ever checked his/her Facebook page and immediately felt ashamed or rushed to your phone only to be met with disappointment AND embarrassment that it wasn't the caller you were hoping for?

Why do we feel so silly for wanting companionship?  If you find yourself holding an unreasonable expectation about playing it cool when you are falling for someone and beating yourself up when you aren't meeting that standard, there are some questions you might want to ask yourself:

1. Do I feel that I deserve love and companionship?
2. Do I fear "jinxing" romantic relationships by wanting them too much?  
3. Do relationships seem like something magical and improbable or something attainable and workable?
4. Do I REALLY feel that I deserve love and companionship (of course you know to say yes the first time you ask yourself)?

If at all possible, the next time you are cursing yourself for checking his/her match.com page to see when he/she was last online (AGAIN), take the opportunity to remind yourself that you, just like basically every other human on the planet, wants to love and be loved.  Your anxious anticipation of the next communication is a sign that companionship is important to you, not something to be ashamed of. (But maybe lay off the drive-bys and Facebook stalking, for your own sake).