Addiction: Value Thief

The conceptualization of addiction as a thief is not new.  If you or someone you care about has ever battled addiction, you are well aware of the losses sustained to personal pride, relationships, health, and overall sense of meaning.

In working with people in recovery, I’ve found that it can be helpful to take a values-based approach to addiction.  That means evaluating what is important to you and engaging in behaviors that coincide with those priorities.

If you’re working a 12-step program, you may be aware of the Step 4 wall that so many run into, and subsequently relapse.  Step 4 is about taking inventory of one’s personal faults or character defects.   This is where a values-based approach could be particularly useful.  Here’s how:

A primary trigger for substance use is the one-two punch of guilt and shame.  Nothing stirs up guilt and shame like a walk back through one’s character flaws and bad decisions.  Active addiction often, if not always, leads people away from values-driven action toward instant gratification at any cost.  Others, including the addicted person tend to get hurt in this process, thus providing the content for step 4 work. 

In addition to considering your faults, consider your gifts and positive traits—not just the ones you have but the ones you aspire to have.  If you’re struggling, think of your faults, and then consider their opposites.  If I am battling selfishness, what would it look like to work toward being generous?  If I see myself as lazy, what would it mean for me to have motivation and determination?

At the heart of this approach is the belief that a personality trait (flawed or otherwise) is defined by behavior.  Dishonest people engage in the behavior of lying while honest people engage in the behavior of being truthful.  Guilt and shame can lead us to believe that we will bear the burden of our character flaws no matter how much positive action we take.  Consider whether this belief will get you closer to what you want or not.  If this belief doesn’t seem helpful, then consider the alternative—engage in the behaviors that represent the traits you want to have and acknowledge that you are actively choosing to move away from the flaws.

Imagine the person, the partner, the worker, the community member, the spiritual being you want to be, and then literally, go be it.  This is one step towards reclaiming your right to a values-driven, addiction-free life.